The Return of the Lunchblog

Okay I made a title and just started typing.  Let’s do this. Actually let’s not do much of anything, I’m tired.

After a three-day weekend, work usually seems hard and boring.  Luckily, today has been relatively easy, and there was even cake!  One of my department’s managers is leaving after 6 years, so we had cake and a Hello Kitty piñata, which was beaten into submission by a  party-hat-wearing bearded man wielding a wooden bat studded with nails. We know how to have fun, is what I’m getting at here.

Last night I managed to make a big ol’ batch of pasta salad, one of my favorites that may be a weird combination but I will tell you about anyway.  Back in the 90s when I tolerated children, I used to babysit a lot.  The best part of babysitting, besides money and going through people’s drawers, was getting to eat other people’s food.  Once I was babysitting for a neighbor and found some pasta salad in their fridge and even though the ingredients seemed hella weird to my picky 12-year-old palate, the combination worked incredibly well and has stuck with me for over 20 years.  It’s just elbow macaroni, grapes, bleu cheese, walnuts, and a light toss in some yogurt and/or mayo (I used equal amounts of each) and a shitload of salt and pepper.  It doesn’t look like much once combined. so here’s a pre-mixed photo.  Oh also there was chicken but that went in at the last minute.

I somehow remembered not only to pack a serving of it to bring to work, but to also bring it with me, and then eat it! It’s a Christmas miracle.  Generally I forget to bring my lunch, sometimes more accidentally than others.  This is a spoiled brat problem to have but you know my penchant for truth-telling; as soon as a food belongs to me, I don’t want it anymore.  I have cabinets full of snack boxes, of which I’ve eaten one wrapped item and then promptly written off the remainder of the contents.  My desk drawer at work is full of treats that I never eat and end up tossing when they reach their expiration date.  For some assholey reason, I only want new, exciting food.  So the fact that I ate my own pasta salad is basically a cause for celebration, and probably deserves a reward.  You know, like a snack.  A new one.

I also made brownies last night, but they were dangerous to my well-being.  Okay fine it wasn’t the brownies, per se, but the knife I was using to cut them.  I put the knife on top of the brownies, in order to carry the whole shebang to the counter and begin slicing.  But on my trip over, the knife leapt from the pan and stabbed me right in the foot.  At least I had brownies to make me feel better.  I think my body just really wants to get tetanus because I also mysteriously cut myself on the gas pump this weekend.  If I die, you can have all my stuff.

Moving on to clothing items, I have had this dress sitting around for a few weeks and have been putting off wearing it.  Many of the ModCloth brand dresses I’ve had have a problem with providing ample coverage of my bra, and this Bea & Dot number is no exception.  I think clothing designers have a bad habit of just sizing straight size (nonfat) garments up without considering what a fat body is actually like.  And of course there are variations in fat bodies, which makes the task even more complicated.  But come on y’all, this dress fits me nearly perfectly everywhere else, except my entire sideboob is visible to passersby.  I got this dress in the clothes swap group and it was listed as being “new”, but it arrived with a used tube of lipgloss in its pocket so I have my doubts.  I’ve felt self-conscious all day about my underthings hanging out, so I’ll probably end up putting this one back up for sale.

These sandals are the Kork-Ease from Amazon, and you’ll be glad to know I wrote to the seller and they ended up adjusting the price! See? Complaining works.  Earrings are the usual.  Belt is from Zulily and I don’t recommend it at all so I’m not linking to them.  It was about $10 which isn’t terrible, but the entire buckle is made of cardboard.  This is my second time wearing it, and I think its life is about over.

Okay, kids.  Lunchtime is almost over and there’s work yet to be done.  See you tomorrow?