Pincers Princess

Okay hi, it’s me again.  I was in a totally bangin’ mood until I watched a video of my sister performing for Mortified, and now I’m super melancholy and the infinite sadness (sorry but that vid hit me in my 90s spot real hard) about how far away my family is!  So not only are my parents in a different country (okay I know Canada is like Baby America, but it feels VERY FAR so just indulge me) but my beautiful tiny baby sister is in Oregon, aka my Xanadu.  I am very envious that she lives there, and also sad that I do not.  I mostly just pretend that my family still lives nearby, which is much easier than thinking about it at length.  Which means it’s time to talk about dumb stuff!  Yay!

I was in traffic earlier, as is my custom, and I was one lane over and a couple cars behind a Honda with this swirly license plate frame.  My eyesight must be failing pretty hard because I was 98% sure this shit said, “Pincers” until I got close enough to gather the remaining 2%.  I thought this fancy lady had a really cool nickname.  But no, she is just boring ol’ royalty.

While I was searching for that license plate embellishment, I also found this one, which is obviously on its way to me now:

Last night I did end up in the tub, with pizza, and it was glorious.  I had been reminiscing about a movie I loved as a kid, Big Bird in Japan, and found it on the tubes and thought it would be a relaxing thing to watch since it was aimed at children.  But even though I feel the same as I did as a kid, it turns out that Big Bird is super annoying to me as an adult! He never follows directions and he whines a lot, and I can’t believe his bratty ass got to visit Japan before I did.

While my movie choice was not the best, my selected bath bomb absolutely was.  I grabbed a bunch when I was at Lush and last night I tried the Honey Bee.  It wasn’t much to look at, but it smelled amazingly pungent in the best way possible.  I forgot what it even was and had to look it up post-bath, so the honey-toffee fragrance it supposedly has was lost on me.  The scent was sweet, clean, inviting, and had a lot of body (just like me, heyo).  WRITING ABOUT SMELLS IS HARD, okay.  This thang was real moisturizing, and I like that in a bath additive.  Even though I always shower after bathing (because I was, after all, sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth) I still didn’t need any lotion after toweling off.  The only downside was that Honey Bee made the tub super gritty, which was not relaxing at all, and ended up being really distracting and uncomfortable.  I guess maybe it could have been all the pizza crumbs and not the bomb though.

one of these dot com

SPLOOSH

2 legit 4 grit

I decided to do a PCM and PCM-adjacent coffee roundup, so in the name of journalism I visited the coffee shop at West Elm two days in a row.  Yes, West Elm, the furniture store, has coffee.  No, I don’t know why.  Yes, that does seem weird. To stop answering made-up questions, I will now use real sentences.  The coffee was actually delicious, and depending on who’s working when you go, it’s either wildly or mildly affordable, especially considering the neighboring options.

When I went in yesterday, I ordered and was served a large iced almond latte from a beautiful chocolate goddess.  It was delicious, and it was $4.50, so I was ready to tell Yelp, Instagram, and you guys all about how this was the best coffee shop on the planet and you should go there every day.  I was even going to visit a second time IN ONE DAY because I enjoyed it so much.

When I went in today though, the person behind the counter was just some honky with cool glasses and a septum piercing, and he told me that they absolutely do not sell large iced drinks!  I was so surprised that I replied, “Oh I just bought one yesterday though, I could show you a picture!” because maybe he thought I was full of shit.  He lectured me about quality and cost and other things I really don’t care about because West Elm is rich, beyotch, and my $2 is not breaking them and I’m also not the one who sold me the $4.50 latte yesterday so take that shit up with your team and not your CUSTOMER OMG.  He told me that if I insisted on having a large, he would basically have to charge me for two drinks, and he added that the one I had yesterday was probably gross and made wrong.  I said, “The one I had yesterday was delicious, and are you saying that if you put a drink in this cup, it will cost me $9?”  He said, “Well…Not nine. But I’ll have to charge you for the espresso AND the syrup.”  Which is really not at all the same thing as NOT SELLING LARGE ICED DRINKS OH MY GODDDDDDD.  He said it would be $2 extra because it’s .50 per shot and per syrup, and I’d ordered a large lavender vanilla latte.  I told him that sounded great, thanks, and yet he still seemed mad at me.  I threw a buck in his jar, and he made the drink and it was delicious.  But since it’s a $6.50 drink and not a $4.50 drink I don’t think I’ll be visiting twice in one day, or maybe even ever because I’m scared of that guy now.

This is the place

Coffee makin’ thangs

A LARGE ICED DRINK DESPITE THE ODDS!

And the final part of our journey tonight will be outfits past and present.  Today Timehop blessed me with two outfits of yore!  Hello past Alison!  You look cute today in the past!  Also I guess your hair will just be this style forever?

Dress was from Gwynnie Bee, shoes from Rack Room, and earrings from Burlington Coat Factory.

Dress was from Ross, shoes from Amazon (Skechers brand), and the earrings are still my beloved from It’s Fashion.

As for today of this year, I had a totally different outfit planned initially.  But when I got dressed, I realized the dress was too short to wear to work without leggings, so I grabbed this off a hanger, not realizing it was also a little bit on the revealing side for work. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt like Meredith on casual Friday but I was already running behind so I just went with it.

The dress is by Leota and I got it from Gwynnie Bee, back when I was a member.  Belt and earrings are repeats but if you’re curious, they’re Amazon and It’s Fashion, respectively.  Shoes are the blue versions of these.  Coffee is from West Elm, but you knew that.

Side-eyeing my own self

Okay it’s time for tonight’s mac and cheese (Zach’s out of town after all).  You can vote if you want to.  You can leave your friends behind.