This weekend in Ross, I saw an adorable coffee mug with the phrase “Bloom where you are planted” emblazoned on it. I’m familiar with the phrase, and at first blush it sounds sort of comforting and motivational, right?  Make the best of a bad situation!  You can’t control life, so just deal with it!  That’s not terrible advice, for some things, but it’s always bothered me.  Why shouldn’t I try to bloom somewhere else?  What if this soil isn’t really the best kind for me, and I won’t ever actually bloom, I’ll just turn all sad and dead?  Or what if I do better in a hydroponic environment? Should I just sit here forever, trying to bloom, even if the conditions aren’t right?

I say nah!  Life is short, I only get one, and wasting any parts of it doing stuff I don’t like seems so frivolous.  I mean yeah, life is full of garbagey bullshit obligations, but that’s all the more reason to try to control the parts I’m in charge of, I think.  I don’t want to be 80 years old and filled with regrets of all the blooming I tried to do, when I wasn’t even a flower or an onion.  I don’t particularly want to be 80 years old at all, honestly, but I definitely don’t want to be 80 and mad at myself.

So it is for that reason that I took the first huge step in making a long-term dream come true, and it was really hard and I’m full of emotions and coffee.  You guys:




The bad news is that I had to quit my beloved job of two years, and I cried a lot when I turned in my resignation.  I have loved working at MailChimp so much, and it feels like I’m resigning from not just a job but a community.  Oh god I’m going to cry just thinking about it so I will not do that anymore but please know I am super sad and this was not an easy decision at all, and if I could magically still be a chimp without actually working as one, I would like that very much.

My first day at my new job will be July 11, which is somehow really soon, despite my mental insistence that is is still April.  I literally forgot how old I was, and had to do some math for it yesterday.  I am apparently 33 now, and not 32, as I have been telling people.  Whoops.

I know job stuff is boring so I will try to keep this brief and relevant: the new job will be tech support for a much, much smaller company.  They’re based in San Francisco and have been around for about 10 years.  Everyone I’ve Skyped with has been incredibly welcoming and kind, so as long as those were my real future coworkers and not hired actresses, I’m looking forward to getting to know them.  I’m also gleefully anticipating attending meetings in no pants.  I’m considering buying one of those photography drapes (my friend Sarah helpfully suggested a strand of faux pearls to complete the look), so that I can be mostly nude and no one will know.  Look, I’m not some kind of sex pervert, I just don’t enjoy wearing clothes that much.  It’s basically the whole reason I buy so many.  I keep looking for the perfect item, but it does not exist because clothing is the devil.  That is perhaps a skewed understanding of original sin, but I stand by my declaration.

In February when we visited the Portland area, I set a goal to be living across the country by my next birthday (September 27, mark your calendar).  That may be overly optimistic, and will depend on how long training takes, how quickly our house sells, and how soon the new job will let me use up nearly all of my vacation on a cross-country trip.  We’re primarily looking to move to downtown Vancouver, WA, because we are old and not cool or rich enough for real Portland.  Also when we visited last time, we stayed in an airbnb that was walking distance to the downtown ‘Couve amenities, and we loved it.  I am lazy because it’s hot here and there are no sidewalks, but when we visit places that make walking an option, it’s so much more appealing than driving.  If we could live in a house and walk to Trap Door Brewing or Esan, I’d be all set.  The only places within walking distance of our house right now are Dollar General and a closed gas station, so you can see how even one decent establishment would be a vast improvement.

While I’ve got you here, I will tell you more about the weekend, because I’m way behind! Monday, I woke up with a craving for Duck’s.  I had trouble getting Zach out of bed, mostly because Jojo was trying to keep him there, but the lure of food was too much to resist and he eventually powered through.

I used to work in the same building as Duck’s, and that was the very best thing about that job.  I could have a mocha or a chicken salad sandwich whenever I wanted, which was always.  Zach and I were at Duck’s so much that we each ended up with specials named after us, and one of my modifications to a sandwich has made it onto the menu permanently.  My new job is going to be Monday through Friday like a normal person, and literally one of the first things I thought of was, “Now I can have Saturday specials at Duck’s again!”  They’re not open Sunday, but their Saturday brunch is one of the best around.

Zach ordered the veggie burger special, and I went with the “Zach’s Carlson”, which is just the regular Carlson (fresh tomato and mozzarella, herbed goat cheese, lemon mayo, and basil on a baguette) with prosciutto.  Potato salad isn’t one of my favorite things, but Duck makes it light and herby, without too much mayo.  I wanted to come back for every single special they’re having this week, but my schedule won’t allow it so I’ve been in mourning.

Posting this outfit photo makes me sad, because my beloved green shoes have bitten the dust on only their third wear.  While I was in Duck’s taking photos, I took a step and ALL OF THE STRAPS just came right out of the sole.  I emailed a cobbler, which is still a thing, but they haven’t gotten back to me.  I’m devastated!  It looks like you could probably just glue them and shove them back into the shoe, but I would rather have a professional do it. Also I should probably stop buying Kork-Ease shoes on Ebay because they seem to always be awful.  The dress was originally a ModCloth, and I bought it in a Facebook group. It shows more cleave than I’d normally share, but I can’t stand wearing camisoles and in fact I pretty much hate wearing multiple items at all, with the exception of a skirt and top. Layers make me hot, and inevitably I end up taking something off and then losing it.  The sunglasses came from Lou Lou, and the earrings are It’s Fashion Metro.  Don’t worry, I wasn’t smoking or soliciting.


Yesterday, I threw on this eShakti dress I wore once previously and promptly forgot I owned.  The print somehow matched these Torrid shoes exactly.  Belt and earrings are both from It’s Fashion Metro.

Maegan and I were craving a West Elm latte (seriously my favorite coffee place now, and the dude was even being nice to me today, probably because I’m leaving) yesterday, but they were closed so we went over to Dancing Goats instead.  Now that I’ve been, I regret waiting so long to visit.  To be fair, West Elm doesn’t require that I leave the building so they still get my business, but Dancing Goats makes a mean mocha and the shop is cute.  They offer four sizes of beverage, (which is unheard of by PCM coffee standards) AND they serve a few treats from Duck’s, like the mini doughnuts and chicken salad.  Also look how adorable their espresso machine is.

Last night for dinner, Zach went Asian fusion and made Indian banh mi. I want to eat them all over again right now, forever.  This perfectly crusty baguette is holding the tantalizing combo of (probably some of these are wrong but Zach isn’t here right now so he can correct me in the comments): cilantro mint chutney, mixed pickle mayo, tandoori chicken, quickled daikon & carrot, fresh onion & cuke, and some extra cilantro on top. Cilantro haters to the left, you’re not welcome here.  For dessert, he grilled pineapple slices and topped them with a boozy citrus mascarpone, pomegranate arils, and fresh mint.  I have been known to say things like “fruit is disgusting”, “it’s not a dessert without chocolate”, and “are you seriously trying to feed me fucking fruit again”, but this dish was outstanding.

YOU GUYS YOU ALMOST MADE IT!  I only have one more outfit to show you, and it was today’s, and then you’re all caught up.  I appreciate you hanging in there.

I was nervous about putting in my resignation notice today, so I wore a good luck charm. This ModCloth dress doesn’t even belong to me, it’s my BeaFF‘s and she mailed it to me to let me borrow it, because she is beautiful and amazing and kind and generous.  My boss didn’t yell at me or fire me on the spot, so the dress worked.  The belt is from Amazon, earrings are the usual, and shoes are Miz Mooz (similar here).

Congratulations!  You made it!  Now you get to watch Mistresses and eat cookies!  No wait, that’s me.


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