Scrotum if you Got ‘Em

Look, that title has nothing to do with anything.  It was just a phrase that occurred to me, and I was disappointed that 1) My mom didn’t say it first and 2) It took me 33 years. My birthday is this month, so at least I thought of it before I turned 34.  That would […]

Skirting the Issue

Hey y’all!  Look, I made it back here before the calendar flipped to yet another month!  I deserve a treat! Today I managed to shower and get dressed before work, which is a huge accomplishment. It has become all too tempting to just roll out of bed, put a clip in the rat’s nest formerly […]

Hello, world.

Ugh you guys, I’ve been dreading blogging.  I used to look forward to it every day, and then I thought maybe every week would suffice, but when I put something off long enough I start to forget why I even enjoyed it in the first place and doing it again seems like a punishment.  Bloggin’ is complicated […]

Pizza, Pancakes, Pool: Weekends are Cool

Amazon is supposed to be dropping off some skirts and bb cream, and of course since I’m home all day they haven’t shown up yet.  When I went to an office every day, they unfailingly delivered everything 10 minutes after I left the house, so that my parcels could sit and tempt passersby all day.  I […]

Broken Toesday

Not even kidding, I think I broke my dumb toe yesterday.  It’s the second-to-the-smallest toe, so it isn’t even an important one or anything but it sure does hurt.  I was trying to adjust my chair to be over the carpet, so I lifted it while I was hovering my butt over the seat, but then one […]

Tearful Turdsday

  Look, guys.  Even when I make a decision that is a good one, I sometimes still feel regret.  I do my best to change a situation when it sucks, so changing one that doesn’t 100% suck feels very strange.  I could totally have kept working here forever and been moderately happy, but the remaining […]

THE BIG NEWS OH EM GEEEEEEE

This weekend in Ross, I saw an adorable coffee mug with the phrase “Bloom where you are planted” emblazoned on it. I’m familiar with the phrase, and at first blush it sounds sort of comforting and motivational, right?  Make the best of a bad situation!  You can’t control life, so just deal with it!  That’s not […]

Fried Day

Today has been a glorious food day, and I hope the momentum continues forever.  Back when I started this shift, I was all, “Oh hell yes, I’m going to be eating breakfast out every got damn day!” but I think it’s only happened three times in the past two years, today being the third time. […]

Gotta lose your mind in Detroit

HEY YOU GUYS!! I missed you so much!  I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to be gone for a couple days but I’m pretty sure I heard on Dateline or somewhere that you shouldn’t tell the internet when you’re going to be out of town.  I know you guys wouldn’t come bust […]