Scrotum if you Got ‘Em

Look, that title has nothing to do with anything.  It was just a phrase that occurred to me, and I was disappointed that 1) My mom didn’t say it first and 2) It took me 33 years. My birthday is this month, so at least I thought of it before I turned 34.  That would […]

Broken Toesday

Not even kidding, I think I broke my dumb toe yesterday.  It’s the second-to-the-smallest toe, so it isn’t even an important one or anything but it sure does hurt.  I was trying to adjust my chair to be over the carpet, so I lifted it while I was hovering my butt over the seat, but then one […]

Back(b)log

Okay I don’t know why I waited so long to update you guys on things because now I have no idea where to even begin or what to tell you about.  I think I was trying to get all my emotions under control so that I didn’t come back here and just write about how […]

Fried Day

Today has been a glorious food day, and I hope the momentum continues forever.  Back when I started this shift, I was all, “Oh hell yes, I’m going to be eating breakfast out every got damn day!” but I think it’s only happened three times in the past two years, today being the third time. […]

Megablog: Weekend +Other Days

Okay let’s get down to business here, people.  No more sappy Father’s Day stuff, we need to talk about clothes and food.  I feel like the weekend is ancient history now, but I remember I ate some things that I wanted to tell you about.  I didn’t really wear clothes for pretty much the whole time, […]

Cryday

Look, I was going to try to make today only about happy things but then it was the day that Jes left and I ended up crying like a big whiny baby.  Jes was the first friend I made in my department at work, and I have looked up to her ever since the first […]

Go Folk Yourself

What up y’all!  It’s almost Friday and I barely had to do anything this week!  What a time to be alive!  As I write this nightblog, I am reminded of the reason lunchblogging is so appealing: nighttime is for relaxing, man.  I’m in my jimjams and have some smooth jamz on so let’s do this thang. […]

Alison al fresco

I am going to state a controversial opinion: I hate outside.  Outside is where the bugs live. There is no air conditioning outside, and rarely is there electricity or potable water. Animals live outside, but only the gross and/or mean ones.  If not for outside, I would probably never have fallen off a bike, or […]