Fatshion February Recap

First of all, the country is still bonkers and I am still struggling with how to be a sane person and stay informed. I read a lot of blogs myself, and I find myself annoyed with nearly all of them. There’s one food blog I read who recently posted a few politically-charged paragraphs, and I found myself rolling my eyes and thinking “Yeah yeah, get to the recipe” but then another one I love has said NOTHING about 45’s first month, and it enrages me. So, rest assured I care that the country is run by someone who LITERAL NAZIS support, but I will not go on and on about it because you already know and are similarly upset and we’re all agreeing to be frivolous for a few minutes together here. Deal? Super.

Last month was Fatshion February on many social media platforms–originally celebrated on Tumblr (or maybe even LiveJournal during the Fatshionista years?) and now I think people primarily post to Instagram. I’ve been partaking in posting for a few years now and I even met my best friend (WHO NOW LIVES HERE!!!!1!11!!1!!!) through the hashtag. I love seeing other peoples’ outfits, mostly because many other people wear terrible clothes (not YOU though, you are perfect). This year wasn’t that great, for me, because for some reason I don’t understand, a LOT of not-fat people post their outfits using that tag. Maybe they’re all body dysmorphic, but it feels like one of those attention-grabbing things insecure young people do; call themselves soooo fatttt so all their friends say “no ur not ur beautiful”. I still enjoy posting though, because I really like attention and I think I’m about at the max number of followers one can have before people start being mean. One time someone messaged me to say “Wow you are really large!” but I obviously wrote back to him and was like, “omg thank you! I’m actually considering a tattoo that says ‘SOME PIG’.”

The whole point of that, obviously, was to provide some background as to why I will be sharing a shitload of outfits all at one time, pretending it was on purpose, and not because I started this blog entry two weeks ago and now it’s an entirely different month. At all. Our house is mostly unpacked and decorated but we don’t have a desk yet, and for some reason I am really hung up on the idea that I’ll be a good blogger if I just have a real desk. But you see, shopping for a desk pretty much sucks. We’re not poor anymore, but the only levels of furniture appear to be Ikea and Rich People Shit, so I keep refreshing Overstock and hoping they’ll miraculously have a desk and chair that are fancy enough for me to want to sit in, but PH-balanced for a solidly middle-class-but-stingy person. Which is to say, maybe one day I will blog with regularity when I have a decent place to sit but for now I start on the couch, decide it’s not working, move to the kitchen, decide those chairs aren’t relaxing enough, move to the floor where the dogs bother me, and then I’m like “Netflix requires nothing of me but open eyeballs” and I give up. Also I have reached next-level bath nirvana with this combination: Lavender epsom bubble bath AND bath oil, a nice indica, The Great British Baking Show on the laptop (propped up on a folding step-stool), a huge glass of ice water, the butt heater on, aaaaand maybe a snack because even though I don’t know what half of those British desserts are, that show will still make me hungry. Also the bath tub = easy cleanup so there are really no downsides. Well except in the morning when Morning Alison has to drag Night Alison’s chocolate mousse spoon back upstairs. But still, #worthit.

Here are all 14 outfits I wore in February. I wasn’t nude the other half of the time but a few days’ photos weren’t good enough to post, and yeah okay, some days I don’t get dressed. If you would like to subscribe to that newsletter, it will be $99.95 per month.

For 2017 (which I guess is now 1/4 over somehow?) I would like to 1) Get a better camera than my iPhone (like say, an even newer iPhone), and 2) learn how to edit photos using a method other than Instagram. These appear to lose a lot of quality between my phone and the internet, and I need all the help I can get.

I have to go pick Zach up at the airport and then I have to have a huge panic attack about tomorrow. I’m going to visit a customer IN PERSON and tell them why their emails suck, and while I look forward to bossing them around I am also very scared of getting yelled at. I’m bringing doughnuts though, so they can’t yell at me while they’re chewing. Bye.

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