Salty

Hey remember that time I had a job? That was fun! I don’t have one anymore. I don’t want to talk about it. I mean I do, but I shouldn’t. But if you emailed me I would talk about it forever, probably. If you know of any job openings for someone who asks too many questions but still makes the customers really happy, please let me know.

Somehow it’s November, and somehow I live in Washington, sort of. I don’t have a job or a place to live, but Zach’s got a Washington driver’s license and we still have our airbnb until the 30th, so I guess that counts. I don’t even want to move back to Atlanta, or ever even see it in person again really, but I would be lying if I said I think I made a good decision to come here. I’m prone to wallowing; to squeezing out all of the sadness and anger I can muster, and just rolling around in it for a while, to see how it feels. To think about all the dumb shit I’ve ever done, and how it has compounded into this Huge Mistake that I have to fix, with a deadline looming. People keep telling me I’m being dramatic (duh), and that I’ll be okay because I’m tough (I’m not, I just hate being poor), and I’m good at looking for jobs (also no), but goddddddd I don’t feel like it! We JUST sold our house and our cars and all of our things! We JUST drove across the country and figured out how to drive a couple places without using a map! We JUST had a few weeks to go before we would be in a house, that belonged to us, and I could finally relax. And now I have to hit the job search again. And the house search.  And worry about money, and how the hell we’re going to share one car if I’m not working at home, but how the fuck we can afford two cars if I’m not making as much money as I used to. I know, I know, I know, I will be okay and we will be okay and one day this will hopefully be a bump in the road and I’ll be glad we left, but right now I feel like the universe is telling me I should have just resigned myself to dying in Atlanta where at least I owned property, had a job, and could find some decent barbecue.

On the bright side, when you don’t have a home, you get to eat out 100% of the time! Today we visited Sugar & Salt for the first time, and I’m guessing I’ll end up trying one of everything, possibly before 2017, even if it means I have to stand at the I-5 exit begging for cupcake money. Everything on the menu sounded amazing but the chipotle bacon chicken salad on ciabatta with cucumber & romaine was calling my name. Zach went with the baked French toast & bacon. He’s doing a tour of pumpkin spice lattes so he sampled theirs, and I went with an iced homemade caramel latte.

My sandwich wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, but it was still good. The ciabatta was softer and less crusty than I’m used to, and the flour dusting on the bottom was too thick and powdery. The veggies were crisp and fresh, contrasting nicely with the spicy chicken salad. Our waitress offered me some additional chipotle mayo and that was an A+ recommendation. My latte was a disappointment, sadly. The homemade caramel aspect was tasty but the coffee was super weak. I wondered if they tried to steam the milk before icing it because I’ve seen some places make that mistake before, and it results in a similarly diluted drank.

Zach said his PSL was a little thin too, though, so it could just be their style. He loved the baked French toast and despite the panini-ized appearance of the bacon, it was executed well. We meant to grab some desserts but were too full to even glance at the case on our way out.

While we waited for our food, I made Zach take my outfit photo because the bakery was so damn cute. This is actually a newer outfit I pulled together since we’ve been out here, but I long for the day I have access to my full wardrobe again. I saw this skirt on someone’s Instagram a while ago and lusted after it ever since. It came up on Ebay a few weeks ago and I got lucky enough to pay more than anyone else wanted to for it. The top came from Target, the belt is from Amazon, and the shoes were also an Ebay find.

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For dinner, we checked out Crave Grille, over on the other side of town. Vancouver is a small town, so it was only a 15-minute drive down the road. I still have no idea where I am most of the time, though, so every drive is exciting. When/if we visit again I’d get a burger, but tonight I needed a vegetable in my life. Since I don’t like vegetables, I had to balance that desire out with other things. Enter: Irish Totchos! Tots with house-made cheese sauce, ham, and green onions. I’m not sure how they settled on this combination, but I’m not mad about it. Their cheese sauce was perfect, and I would probably even eat vegetables if it meant they could be bathed in such a delicious concoction. The whole thing was pretty salty, but I feel like that should be evident by the ingredient list. My salad came covered with bacon, chicken, bleu cheese, and avo, just like the food pyramid intended.

Okay well thanks for listening, guys. I love and miss you and one day if I have a job and a house I hope you’ll come visit.

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3 thoughts on “Salty

  1. So feeling for you! You know that we moved too, right after you did and we’ve had one fiasco/breakdown/kerfuffle after another ever since. From a broken down car that got towed to my dryer breaking down and missing mail including a paycheck and a ballot, it’s been insane.
    I will light a candle that you find a good job soon so you can buy more cute skirts like that one. Hoping your life improves soon!

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  2. Dearest Darling Daughter,
    You sound like your mother, cubed, but wittier, wiser, and much more self-aware. Oh how I feel your pain! I thought we could just pop in to Canada and settle down, but our relocation process has been long, arduous and EXPENSIVE as all get-out. Now, like you, I am not worried about doing a good job, I’m just worried about getting one. I try to remember that whenever we’ve made major changes in life, there was always a kerfuffle right at the beginning when we thought ‘uh-oh, this might have been a mistake’ (Remember when the Enjoyment Room wall DMG was building fell on Beth Anne and broke her leg? I feared we were going to lose our house!) Somehow we always survived. This is no time for self-doubt. You had good reasons for moving and for changing jobs each time you did. Please be kinder to yourself! You have an incredible work ethic and skills, plus outstanding references. You got this – just keep swinging. In the meantime, try to enjoy the little things you love (like Skeeter, coffee, legal weed, and Big Pointy). You have a husband, sister, father, and mother who adore you. It is still a Beautiful world. Who loves you? Mom loves you!

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