Bomb-azz Review #4 (I think) and other stuff too

First of all, I was about to start this entry with “Yo yo yo” but do actual people say “yo” anymore?  Because that appears to be not only my preferred blog opening but also the way I answer the telephone most often, and is probably as hip as saying, “Greetings and salutations”* or describing things as being “hip”.

So in lieu of yo-ing you, I’ll just say hey and ask how you’re doing.  Hey!  How are you doing?  I’m pretty okay.  Actually I’m feeling many emotions all at once, but that is my default setting.  It’s time to start thinking about our move in serious, real terms, and to put it mildly: that shit is cray.  I am not good at change, even though I try really hard to embrace it.  I’m always looking for a better opportunity, while wishing I could keep doing what I’m doing forever.  It’s like a little mind trick, sort of like how I try to always have low expectations because they are the key to being pleasantly surprised.  In this particular case, I am having so many feelings about Atlanta and how maybe it’s not actually terrible and I should just stick it out.  I also, if you want to know the truth, have been missing my old job.  I know, I’m dumb!  My new job is super cool and great and I really really like the people and the work is interesting and challenging, but my old job was like a bizarre, drama-prone family, and I miss a lot of parts of that.  I have worked enough places (like all of them, almost) to know that every single job ends up feeling like a weird family eventually, so I really look forward to the day that that happens at my new gig.  Basically, since I know no job/house/thing is forever, I try not to get too attached to any one thing, in the hopes of mitigating heartbreak later on when change becomes inevitable.  It doesn’t work very well, if at all, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.  I have been hating Atlanta openly for so long, but obviously if it were terrible I’d have left already.  I tried not to fall too in love with MailChimp because I knew it was temporary, but I couldn’t help but get invested in the culture and the people and the company, because I’m a human bean.  Now that leaving is on the horizon, I’m starting to think, “Well maybe I should just stay!  I have this cool house and friends and there is a lot of good food around, and look how pretty all the trees are!”  but as soon as my mind started wandering too far that direction, I saw something on Facebook that was happening in Portland and it made my heart feel sick, and I knew if I stayed here forever I would just feel that feeling all the time and hate myself for it. (Sidenote: y’all I just turned my head to look outside, and saw a bird flying, and my first thought was that I should grab my phone to throw a pokeball at it.  I probably need some better hobbies.) Work has been going well, though!  I only get wistful when I see all my old coworkers ‘gramming about stuff I used to get to participate in.  It helps to check Instagram while I’m drinking my own coffee at my own house while getting paid for it, so maybe I should start Instagramming everything I can do at home that they can’t do in the office.  The only potential downside is that 98% of the cool things I can do at home should not be shared publicly.

It’s been tough getting used to my new schedule, especially since there is no commute to help break up my day.  I’ve been trying to take advantage of my increased free time by doing stuff after work, but doing stuff still sucks even if you don’t go to an office all day so my efforts aren’t always successful.  I have made it over to Maeg’s both weeks, which is a personal record.  It’s always nice to get out of the house, especially to see a friend who excels as an outfit photographer, has adorable cats, and is generous with food and drank. Also the stairs up to her place are brutal, so it’s good to get that once-weekly two-minute workout in.  I have been getting dressed nearly every day because I end up Skyping with coworkers a lot and we’re not quite at the floppy-boobs stage of our relationship.  On this past visit, it was also a day I had a meeting, so I wore this colorful but comfy Mystic brand dress (from ModCloth, duh). The belt is maybe originally from Target but I got it on Facebook. It tends to ride up while I wear it, hence the annoyed face while once again adjusting it.  The shoes are Miz Mooz and I wish I had them in a Crayola box-assortment of colors, but I think they only came in black or red.  Jerks.

Another night, I decided to use the last Lush bomb that I had sitting around, for multiple reasons.  1) Weeknight bath: luxury!  2) No sense in moving bath items across the country 3) Now I can shop at Lush again because I’m out of bath bombs.  This one is the Butterball, aptly named because it made me feel about like this.  It smelled delightful; soft and vanilla-y, but could have been stronger scented for my tastes.  Or smells.  It didn’t make the water an awesome color, and in fact looked a little grody as it spun out tiny beads of butter.  I could definitely tell it was loaded with cocoa butter as advertised, but after I drained the tub I nearly “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”ed myself trying to get out of the damn thing.  It was so slippery, and all of my tub-scrubbing supplies were out of reach. Nights like those, I wish Zach had a job that didn’t take him out of town every week.  I pictured myself being stuck in the tub until he got home, subsisting only on tap water and rose-scented sugar scrub, and that image gave me the momentum I needed to scramble upright and out of the slick porcelain death chamber.  My legs were super soft though, for real.

Friday I wanted to keep it casual, but we had a real estate broker coming over to see the house so I had to wear actual clothes.  I got a slew of these $13.50 skirts on Amazon delivered on Friday so I pretty much had to wear one immediately.   They are a little short, clocking in at 21″, but they’re fine for my stumpy self, and will be perfect in winter when I’m wearing tights all the time and showing my ass is less of a concern.  I got this top from a Facebook group, but it looks to originally have been from Wal-Mart.  I’m a sucker for anything with fruit on it, as I’ve documented.  The shoes, also from Amazon, are by Matisse.  The glasses are by Zenni, and I should really wear them more often but I hate the feeling of stuff on my face, especially when it’s 100 degrees all the time.

Finally, we’ve reached the present, and the outfit I wore today for like an hour when I went searching for Pokestops. This dress is another one by Yellow Star, originally from ModCloth but new to me.  The belt is from Amazon, and so are the shoes, which are Swedish Hasbeens (similar here).

Okay I blogged so now I get to go swimming, yay me!  You should come sometime too.

 

 

*Okay that particular phrase is at least sort of cool, but I think “yo” has fallen out of fashion considering that I googled “Do people still say yo” and got this link about slang from fucking 1990.**

**Is it just me or do you hate when people misuse asterisks and never put a daggum footnote!?!?!

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3 thoughts on “Bomb-azz Review #4 (I think) and other stuff too

  1. Hang in there, Alison! Just fyi… The emotional roller coaster and the whole, “Oh my God, what did I just do?! Was it the right decision?” won’t go away for a while. And it gets worse and worse and as you start actually taking action and moving forward w everything. I think I had an ulcer and felt nauseous every day after I put a deposit down on my apartment. Then it got approved for the apartment and I wanted to throw up. I also might have had a mild panic attack and started getting very sentimental & emotional over everything (and you know me… I feel no emotions!) I kept asking myself, “Is this the right decision?” and as scared as I was, I had to keep telling myself that I will never know that answer until I try. The worst thing that happens is I go back.

    I also did the, “Is it really that bad here?” but the answer, for me, was yes. I know everyone is different but for me I think I stayed longer bc I loved the Chimp, the people that I worked with, I have the bestest group of friends anyone could ever ask for there, and my family was there. Why would anyone in this situation leave? But, again for me, the bottom line was, I had all of those things and I was still very unhappy. And this wasn’t an unhappiness that could be filled by getting a bf or something stupid like that. The last year I was there, I felt depressed a lot and felt my unhappiness was projecting onto others. It wasn’t me. I was very aware of it and tried my best to make sure I didn’t take it out on people. That’s what I kept thinking about when I had doubts. And pretty much what you said in your “Bloom where you are planted,” you hit the nail on the head. I actually shared that little excerpt w a friend who is thinking of moving bc he’s not a fan of Atlanta either and that really inspired him. Those words were exactly what he was feeling. So basically, this is my long winded way of saying, these feelings are perfectly normal! It takes a lot of guts to make a change and push yourself out of your comfort zone in efforts to achieve happiness. You’re in a great position where you still have the freedom to do it. You’re doing great Alison! I’m so proud of you! ❤

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    • Girrrrrrrl!! I just read this over and over again since you posted it. Sorry for being a butthole and replying so late, I fail at the internet. It means so much to me that you said all this, especially because parts of it tread dangerously close to being nice. You have really been such an inspiration to me! Watching you embrace your new place has been so cool, especially since it’s evident you now live in a real city as opposed to whatever the fuck Atlanta is. I know the next few months will be awful and stressful, but so would the rest of my life if I never got off my ass and tried something new. If I hate Washington, Georgia will still be here, being all racist and hot. I am proud of YOU, and thank you for the encouragement!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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