Broken Toesday

Not even kidding, I think I broke my dumb toe yesterday.  It’s the second-to-the-smallest toe, so it isn’t even an important one or anything but it sure does hurt.  I was trying to adjust my chair to be over the carpet, so I lifted it while I was hovering my butt over the seat, but then one chair leg got stuck on the corner of the rug, and when I unstuck it and sat down, one of the other legs was apparently right over my toe so I ended up crushing one of my tiniest bones with the weight of my entire gargantuan body (along with that of the chair).  I should be ashamed of myself but a maneuver like that takes some finesse. At first I was trying to be brave but then the pain reached a crescendo and I ended up crying mere minutes before video-chatting in for my first day of work.  It’s okay–I’d rather my first-day tears be attributed to personal injury than something work-related.

I didn’t do much over my extended weekend except finish all of Mistresses and then all of the current season of OITNB.  I am embarrassingly shitty at acronyms and for a while there I was referring to that show as “OINTB”, so in my head I refer to it as “Orange Is Not the Best”.  Watching all of that in the course of a few days was like riding an emotional Wonkavator, and I really resent that we have to wait a whole year for more episodes.  I would almost prefer they released episodes individually, if it meant we didn’t have to take a break.  Sort of like how year-round school doesn’t sound so bad once you learn there’s little breaks throughout the year.  Give me one episode per month so that I don’t HAVE to exercise self control, please Netflix?

On Sunday night, we went out with Matt & Jennifer to Fork in the Road, outside of Northlake Mall (I know, scary!). Some friends of ours swear by the fried chicken, and I was interested in the wide variety of fried appetizers, which the menu says are all home-made.

The restaurant has a very Applebees-in-the-90s feel, with all manner of sports memorabilia crowding the walls.  The air conditioning didn’t seem to be fully functioning when we were there, but maybe it’s just that hot here and restaurants can’t both heat food and cool patrons at the same time.  We arrived around 7:30 and there were plenty of full tables.

Our server was friendly, but omg everything at FITR takes for(k)ever.  We ordered fried zucchini and some artichoke dip for appetizers, and they took a what felt like a forktnight to come out. The zukes were fresh and crispy, cooked perfectly but excessively salty.  The unfortunately VD-sounding “burning valley ranch” was super spicy which I loved, but I think marinara or something else acidic and less rich would have been a better pairing. You can pick from a whole slew of sauce options, but I can’t remember if tomato sauce is one of them.  The dip was your basic recipe of this chain restaurant staple, in the good way.  The ratio of dip to dippable items was weighted heavily on the chips end of the scale, and we had lots of them left long after the dip was devoured.

Zach went with a fried chicken plate, choosing one of each chicken piece (I think.  I can’t keep track of how many edible parts a chicken has.  All of them if you try, right?) and some fried okra.  He reported the chicken was under-seasoned but juicy, and the okra could have been cooked longer or at a higher temperature.  I had the Coronado Pasta with chicken, which I think is named that because it sounds a little like “coronary”.  It’s a penne dish, served with a spicy, creamy sauce, cheese, basil, tomatoes, bacon, and chicken.  It’s all of my favorite things in one tidy place, and it’s incredible.  I think I enjoyed my food more than anyone else so I feel a little bad for my friends, but happy for me.  Jennifer and I both ordered some cheesecake to go, but I forgot to get photos.  She went with strawberry sauce, and I chose to go nude.  We all agreed: cheesecake was an excellent idea.  It was smooth and the exact right texture–not too thick or overdone, not too creamy or undercooked.  I know some of you don’t care for cheesecake but I’m sorry, you’re wrong.

Though I enjoyed my meal, I’m not sold on the Fork in the Road experience.  Even though we arrived an hour and a half before their 9pm closing time, the staff was obviously anxious to go home.  They began cleaning and arranging furniture, turning off music & tvs, etc., before our food even hit the table.  The restaurant was totally ready to shut its doors by the time we were done eating, slightly after 9.  Having been a server in a previous lifetime, I totally get that coming in to eat after 8 is rude.  But arriving at 7:30 was well within bounds, and their behavior made us feel like we were bothering them by showing up and ordering $100 worth of food over 90 minutes before the end of business hours.  My old bosses Ed & Martin would have never in a million years let us do that shit at the American Roadhouse, is all I’m saying.  The menu does warn that the chicken will take about 20 minutes, so I guess if they cook it one piece at a time that could account for our lengthy wait.

We were running late on our way out to dinner, so Zach took my photos after we ate, outside of the mall. You can probably see the “I’m too full and it’s too hot” misery plastered all over my face.  This dress is one I’d rented on Gwynnie Bee like 4 times, but they wanted way too much money for it so I kept sending it back.  I snagged it on Ebay for $15, so take that Gwynnie Bee.  I don’t need you.  The earrings are from Burlington, necklace was purchased on Zulily (but here it is on Etsy), belt is from Amazon, and the shoes are another Ebay find.


I actually did wear clothes today, and then I fucked around for 45 minutes trying to figure out how to self-time an #ootd photo, but it was impossible so I probably can’t show you any outfits until Zach comes home or I introduce myself to some neighbors.  I will miss you in the interim!



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